I just spent a delirious twenty minutes of my night having a David Bowie dance party with my kid in the living room. Shit like this is meant to remind me that no matter how bummed I may get my life is pretty fucking awesome and my kid is the shit.

We have reservations for two nights at the Jupiter Hotel in Portland, the 22-24th of December. Food, art and lots of booze, whooo.

THERE WILL BE POUTINE.

So I've decided I want a pair of these horrible pirate boots. Which color should I go for?




I'm leaning towards the brown, though the husband maintains they are the most pirate-y of all. I think that may be why I like them.

I hope my little beast is that full of conviction one day.

Probably my favorite busker. Spawn loves him, she begs for money to drop in his case.

Reporter: "What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary?"

Sendak: "I would tell them to go to hell. That's a question I will not tolerate."

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/debomuni/687768229/

It's a Gap kids casting call type thing. Even if you don't agree that she's the cutest kid evaaaar, do me a favor? :D You can vote once a day. Thanks bbs.

of my life.

Wild chanterelle crostini, handmade veal/pork meatballs with a tomato-fennel sauce over cappelini and a lovely vanilla creme brulee. MMM.

What stands out to you as your favorite meal?

The day she was born. That little red lizard-girl.



A few days ago on the ferry home from Seattle.

She is my ninja princess and my maddening little girl genius. Everything is:
"Because why?"
"Because why again?"
"Because why one more time?"

She has to know everything. :)

We went to the library today, and not only could she barely contain her squeals of joy at seeing the children's section, she asked how many books she could take home. I told her four, that seemed like a good number to get through in a week and be back for another go round.

So she counted out four books and brought them to the table. She sat and flipped through books with a little boy a year or two older than her, talking quietly. When I was ready, we checked out and the entire way from the checkout to the car sang: "I got books, we got books, books books books!", complete with hip-thrusts.

When I hug and kiss her goodnight, I tell her what a wonderful little girl she is. She rubs my back and tells me I'm the best mommy in the world.

I'm not a sentimental person by most anybody's standards, but I'll freely admit I'm having a bit of a happy cry right now. My baby isn't a baby anymore, and it's so incredible to watch.

A vendor from my local farmer's market tipped me off to grilling these beauties, and I am so thankful she did.



Recipe and more here!

More on what I've been up to this week soon!

If you click through to this site it will enter me in a contest to win one of these bad boys. Please! :D

http://therecoveringvegetarian.wordpress.com/

CHECK IT OUT

Poll #1414234 First Food Blog Dishes
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

What should be the first meal for my cooking blog?

I'm kind of in love with all of the ideas, so you will really get the power here. I'll poll a few people IRL and whichever meal wins will be the first meal cooked on The Recovering Vegetarian!

ALSO:
Gail, I mailed off your battery charger today. Sorry for being so late. :)

That's been a really difficult thing for me to understand and deal with...pretty much my whole life. If you dig backwards a bit you'll find around the point that I admitted finally to myself and the world that I had been seriously physically and emotionally abused as a child.

It's really only been in the last few months that I could face that.

This whole situation with my sister running off has forced some recognition in that whole area of my life. My father apologized to me and acknowledged that he should have done something about it around Thanksgiving. Just about a week ago my mother finally said to me:"I can live with the mother I've been to your sister. I don't know how I ever lived with the mother I was to you. I'm so sorry."

Basically, when you've lived your life in one mode, and really just expected to never get proper recognition of something big like that...As much as you desperately hope for and need that moment, it fucks you up big time. I didn't really feel it for a few days, but it's kind of hit me like a ton of bricks lately. And I realized that for all my posturing about not letting my abuse dictate my adulthood: I have. I have been a stagnant, sad person because I refused to ask for the acknowledgement I so needed.

I HAVE NO EXCUSES ANY MORE.

Being free is a scary thing when you've felt trapped for so long. But I am now, not that I was ever really trapped. I just couldn't let go and let myself move forward.

I think it has been a genuine deterrent for me to lose the weight. My diet has been back and forth this past week, but I've been to the gym nearly every day. And the few I didn't go to the gym for I worked out at home. Spouse and I do a routine from Namaste Yoga together three or four times a week. I have Wii Fit as well. My weight actually increased a bit this week, but my waist measurement is two inches smaller than it was the last time I took it, about two weeks ago. I feel stronger, more limber. The muscle definition is reappearing in my arms and legs.

I have recognized and must really cope with the fact that I will never be a slim person. I can lose weight, and I will: But I will never be what society recognizes as thin. At a healthy place in my life I was a large size six, small eight and clocked in at around 150 pounds. And I'm five foot five inches on a tall day. I carry a lot of muscle when I am watching my diet and actively exercising. I have large, muscular calves. My hips and thighs are impressive, even with a far thinner layer of fat over them. My waist is short, and has never been slender. My breasts are large, my shoulders are wide and strong. I have squat little hands and a big ol' noggin. Despite my admittedly ridiculous aspirations to willowy-ness, I will always be short and tending to stocky. But I can be healthy and I can be strong. Really, really fucking strong. People used to be genuinely surprised with the size of my biceps, or how much I could leg press. I was never a fast runner, but man I could keep going!

I want that back. And when I get it, I refuse to allow myself to ever be ashamed of it again.

Just when I get all gooey and happy about things being on an upswing, I get a call from my parents stating:

My sister ran off last night.
She ran off with a 28 year old man she claims not to be involved with at all.
She stopped taking her birth control a few weeks ago.
She isn't answering anyone's calls, but she sent them a text.

The gist of her text is she's fine, getting her head straight and she's 18 so there isn't anything any of us can do about it.

well, specifically with our brakes. Which is never, ever a good thing. We're too broke to do much of anything about it until this weekend, so Spouse has a friend taking him to the NEX to get a replacement inner tube for his bike tonite, and then this weekend they'll be hanging in the autoport trying to figure out what it is.

It's one of two things: a leak or the master cylinder is going out. Option A is relatively cheap and simple, option be is relatively not so. This was causing a lot of stress and worry, up to and including finishing up our Christmas shopping. Spouse was supposed to do mine next pay period, and it's all that hasn't been done for immediate family. But of course, there were a few things here and there I'dve liked to still pick up for Spouse and Spawn. A potential $450 fix on the car pretty much put all that on hold. We consoled ourselves with the fact that Spawn's presents have all been bought, she's taken care of. And we'd have enough money to cover all basic necessities.

We'd nearly forgotten that a few weeks ago Spouse's boss told him to go ahead and register for Sears' Heroes at Home Wish Registry. People can donate at Sears locations throughout the country and it is evenly distributed over gift cards that have been given out to servicemembers and their families. We got ours in the mail today. I checked the balance, expecting nothing at all and there's $100 on it. With the promise of another distribution on the 26th of this month.

It was a prayer answered. One I was really ashamed to be asking for, but I humbled myself and asked anyway. It won't kill all our worries, it won't fix all our problems, but it will relieve a bit of the ache and stress. I'm not the type to get all "SUPPORT THIS COMPANY HERE", but fuck it. Shop at Sears. They helped salvage our holiday this year and I know for a fact there are military families much worse off than ours who wouldn't have a holiday if it weren't for programs like this.

I've been M.I.A. for a bit as I have been SICK AGAIN. My God, it's disgusting how much of our time here in Washington that I've been ill. But it's disappearing, slowly. I'll be reading the backlog of friends entries tonite while I fold laundry. :)

That out of the way, politics-ahoy.

The first presidential election I was eligible to vote in was Bush/Kerry. I voted for Kerry, and was just dashed. I cried, shrugged my shoulders and moved on. I prayed that we'd find someone strong enough to make a difference next time around, and we did. While realistically, Obama isn't liberal enough for my tastes, I do recognize that he has great potential. I pray for him and his family, and that he lives up to his promise.

If you voted for McCain? I'm sorry it turned out so badly for you. I understand you're hurt, but I hope you see that this is something that just needed to happen right now. I'm not going to laugh, I'm not going to point fingers and call you names. I understand how much it can hurt to have something you believe in not realized.

It appears that Washington has passed a death-with-dignity law, at least as of right now. This makes me happy as well. As someone with family who have had to think about that what-if and had no legal standing, it makes me more comfortable to know that if I or Spouse were in that position we would have a choice.

And Proposition 8/all the other gay marriage bans+Arkansas banning gays fostering or adopting children:
A big FUCK YOU. This is where I stop caring who I offend. If you live in a state where a gay marriage ban was on the ballot and you voted in favor, you can get off my list now. You disgust me. Nobody was trying to walk into your house of worship and force your clergy to marry gays. Doesn't work like that, freedom of religion and all. Nobody was going to teach your kids a damn thing about gay marriage in school. Nobody was taking a damn thing away from you. We're talking basic human rights, and if you can't see that I can't handle you. Gay men and women should have every right as human beings to be legally bound to each other. To raise children together. To visit and care for each other when they are ailing. And so on and so forth. I've prayed for compassion on this one and I'm just not there yet. I'm too angry. When will people start realizing that laws aren't meant to be a path to legislating your own personal morality? The purpose is to agree upon a shared morality that helps us to all live together and care for and about one another.

But what do I know? I'm just a fucking dumbass liberal feminazi socialist quasi-Christian. (Yeah, that's something I've actually been called in the past few days.)

And this one's public. I'm beyond giving a fuck here.